One year old.

On this day, exactly one year ago, I started my blog - Merci. It has a bit of history as I have been writing ever since childhood. Only in a dispersed sort of way. In notebooks mostly. As a child I had a diary which had a collection of poems I wrote or phrases I liked. I also had another notebook where I'd pen down lines  written/ said by famous people. Lines i particularly loved.  Id like to believe those were my first blogs. Only, they were not virtual. But I like to think of the effort I took with pride and also there is another kind of charm to the written word. 

As the internet culture grew we had Facebook and several social media platforms. Blogging or micro blogging- common terms. I continued writing posts on Facebook notes as I was, what you could call, not very pro-blog maintenance. I saw several people pour their hearts out or write regularly. I could never do it. So yeah, I stayed away from blogs for almost 7 years! I started one and randomly posted poems written ages ago  but never used it.

In January 2014, I don't know what came over me. But I had to write things somewhere I could keep them forever. So I revamped my earlier blog to Merci. A name that has, in a special way became associated with me and many memories. I wouldn't take credit for the name though. A friend recommended it. Merci was supposed to be  joint blog. But it never happened.

I don't know how usual or unusual it is for people to celebrate blog anniversary or blogversary as they say these days. But I want to.  Because I know it has been a certain kind of achievement to come back to this page during intervals of my life and fill it.

What was particularly encouraging was that a lot of people from nowhere , simply out of the blue, have told me they enjoy reading it. They said they relate to stuff or a certain post made them happy. Such things obviously make my day. I don't think I can write with pretence. If it comes to heart it may come down in words.

Writing is beautiful and so is reading. Its great how words can brighten our souls whether you read them or write them.

I don't what to make this too long and sappy.

Happy First Blog Anniversary to me. To Merci.

2015 !

Finally 2015 is here with all gung-ho and fervor. New years are so lucky. They always receive so much attention and adulation. All this, without even knowing what it has in store for us. Great luck I must say.

A year ago, on 22nd of January, I started my blog. So yeah, anniversary is approaching. I need ideas on how to celebrate it (on this blog obviously). If anyone has any thing in their mind, please share.

Today as I write this post I don't feel very inspired. I almost had a thought there, for how long am I going to maintain this blog? Someone recently asked me, why do I write? And if I do, why do I share it? I write because I find it soothing, maybe. And I don't mind sharing it with people. If they read it and found something useful or enjoyed it or took away something from it or added something back to me, there would be no harm right? I didn't understand the question at all. Mainly because the variables of my life rejected it. It was silly and I let it go.

People were talking about resolutions. What they are and how they should be. Skill development or habits changing. Talks are futile commodities. If I want to really do something I always do it. I don't need resolutions.

The best gift I would like to receive this year is freedom. Freedom from bad thoughts, bad people, bad things and a chance to do what I like. What inherently makes me happy. Some support. Some respite. Some something. something something. too much some.

Perspective. With time perspective changes. At time t1 I want a thing A. A is perfect. A solves all my problems Staying away from home, earning, living, being, escapism. But t1 remains elusive. So , I forget about it. How badly I wanted it. At t2 I want B. But B does not want me. And I'm chasing my own tail. And after several years I do get A. I cannot see it's importance anymore whilst I have it, because I have B too. And I want B and I don't want to lose A. And I want A and I don't want to lose B. And I don't know what choice to make. It's tricky. But I choose one and lose another and what if I eventually lose both. Then what do I have left?

The problem is that at every instant your desires may change. And that your perspective will be different. And at the end of it all, you will remain stupid. Or maybe I will.

Communication should always be possible in relations. If you can't even talk to a person about what's in you heart , it's a useless place to be in. Parents, friends or siblings.

Sitting in one corner of the world. Writing your own blog and not knowing anyone at all feels like a perfect solution to things. Not having people around you to bother you at all.

If you want to do anything new this year then just try pursuing your hobby. Believe me it feels wonderful.

Until then, ciao!